"And then I thought, I could be that bard! I just needed to find a suitable hero and volunteer to follow along

"And then I thought, I could be that bard! I just needed to find a suitable hero and volunteer to follow along on their glorious adventure. A great plan, huh? And here we are, with a heroic journey lying before us. Who's going to be the hero? Some dwarf who keeps muttering about how we'll all die? Or maybe that horrific scythe lady? Or, gods forbid, Tartuccio? No way!"