"I couldn't sleep for half the night. Kept thinking about how much pain I stupidly caused Octavia — and now yo

"I couldn't sleep for half the night. Kept thinking about how much pain I stupidly caused Octavia — and now you too probably. I was thinking — maybe you'd both be better off without me? Stupid thoughts! I sipped from the flask to drive them away — and got drunk little by little... Ah, there is no point in any excuses. Forget my babbling. Just forget it. And forgive this idiot. I swear, I won't have another drop while we're on the march!"